


At the End of the Night

by Mareel



Series: Always [59]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Candles, Destroy Ending, Grief/Mourning, London, Love, M/M, Memories, Music, N7 Day, N7 month, Post-Canon, Post-Mass Effect 3, Resolution, memorial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One last duty in London.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> The takes place in London on the second anniversary of the end of the Reaper War. It is Kaidan's voice. 
> 
> In honor of N7 Day. In my headcanon, the Battle in London took place in November.

 

"Chilly out here tonight."

Shepard must be pretty cold to actually mention it. Since his recovery, he feels the cold a lot more than he used to... or his shivering might not be entirely due to the weather. Either way, I worry about him. 

"Here, take my jacket. I brought it thinking you might need one. And I'll stand close to you so you can share my heat."

He smiles, accepting the leather jacket. "Never thought I'd be so glad for that overheated biotic metabolism of yours, Kaidan. First time I woke up next to you, I was sure you must have been running a fever."

It's dark enough that it might not be apparent that I have my arm around him. But you know what. So what if it is? 

We wouldn't even be having this remembrance vigil if it weren't for Commander Shepard doing what he did to stop the Reapers two years ago tonight. If people see him as more human now, sheltered from a soul-deep chill by someone who loves him, so much the better. He was human that night, too. It just seemed like he was more, because we needed him to be. 

"Better now, thanks. Didn't want to drop the damn candle from the shaking."

He didn't call it shivering. He realizes what he's feeling, facing it the way he always has – head on. I slip my arm beneath the jacket to rest a hand on his lower back... silent support.

The night is getting darker as clouds move in over London. But out of the darkness, there's one point of light. At the site where the beam from the Reaper-controlled Citadel touched Earth that night to unleash chaos and destruction, a single flame burns. 

From that single source, the flame is being propagated to the survivors and the loved ones of those who didn't make it, hand to hand, each lighting another's candle. The flickering candlelight spreads outward in an enlarging circle. 

I wasn't sure how Shepard would deal with being anywhere near this place. We always avoided the whole area on our walks in London. But he's never refused when asked to serve.

We would have preferred to lose ourselves in the crowd, but they wanted Commander Shepard close to the center, so here we are in a cluster of friends and Normandy crewmembers.

After Admiral Hackett lit Shepard's candle, he turns to light mine. Our eyes meet over the joined flame and I'm sure he sees the unshed tears. I try to smile and he nods, understanding what the moment means to me... to have him here by my side alive, safe. 

Kahlee Sanders is standing to John's left and I pass the flame to her. He leans close to her for a moment, whispering a word or two before lightly kissing her cheek. 

There's no music this year, just the silent tribute of lights. The silence is fitting and eloquent. 

I lied. There's no music until the end. Then the notes of Taps ring out from a lone bugler. And the clouds have passed, revealing a crescent moon and the lights of the Milky Way. 

I wonder how this looks from the _Normandy_ , in Earth orbit. Joker had chosen to stay on board, but said he was going to watch. Several people had offered to stay with him, but he shooed them all off, saying he'd really rather be alone.

Candles are extinguished as people begin to leave. Shepard makes no move to go, holding onto his light until it's burning low and the area is nearly deserted.

Slipping away from me, he approaches the perpetual flame by the marker. His back straight, he stands by it silently for a minute or so before blowing out his candle. After placing it near the flame, he takes the few steps back to me, into my arms, burying his face against my shoulder.

When Shepard lifts his head, my chest is a little damp but his eyes are clear. His voice is quiet but steady and he takes my hand. He doesn't have to say it... I know he'll never return to this place.

"Let's go home, Kaidan."

__________________________________________________

 


End file.
